"Sometimes we women feel that asking for help is a sign of a lack of faith, strength or courage on our part as moms, but that's not the case."

Normal sadness or depression: The difference

Dr. Lucy Palermo puts it bluntly: postpartum depression is a mental illness, not "a normal situation for a mom who is completely healthy." Even so, she clarifies that not every feeling of unease is depression. After giving birth, there are many physical, emotional and neurobiological changes, a lack of sleep, and a baby whose cues you have to learn to read. That can be exhausting, irritating and make you feel overwhelmed, but "it lasts for a while and gets better as the days go by, as you rest, and as you adapt," whereas "depression doesn't get better without treatment."

The key, she explains, lies in functionality. In normal postpartum recovery, the symptoms are manageable: the mother can care for the baby and take care of herself, even if she is tired. In depression, the depressed mood is persistent and affects sleep, appetite, energy, and personal, family and work life. Sometimes, she says, the mother cannot care for either herself or the baby.

Signs you shouldn’t downplay

Among the most characteristic symptoms mentioned in the episode are

1. Persistent sadness
2. A feeling of emptiness
3. Loss of pleasure in things you used to enjoy
4. Anxiety
5. Hopelessness
6. Difficulty concentrating
7. Recurring negative thoughts
8. Guilt

The doctor also distinguishes between guilt and depression: guilt usually stems from thinking "I'm doing something wrong," whereas in depression the idea of "I am the problem" arises. If you have thoughts that it would be better not to be here, or ideas about harming yourself or your baby, the recommendation is to address them and not be afraid to ask for help: asking for help, she explains, does not cause the other person to become depressed.

Causes and risk factors: it's not a checklist

"It's a multi-factored illness," explains the doctor: there is no single cause. There is a biological basis, involving a drop in hormones, changes in neurotransmitters such as serotonin and dopamine, sleep disturbances, and a possible genetic predisposition. Added to this are factors such as a complicated pregnancy, a traumatic birth, a baby with health problems, intense psychological stress, low self-esteem, limited social support, financial difficulties, being a single mother or living with an abusive partner.

But she warns against simplistic formulas: "The biggest mistake is to make a checklist and say, 'She has all these factors, so she's going to have depression.' It doesn't work that way." There are women who experience all of these things and do not develop the condition, and others who do. The doctor points out that there is also a risk of overdiagnosis or underdiagnosis. And she emphasizes an important point: you don't have to have depression to ask for help.

"The biggest mistake is to make a checklist and say, 'She has all these factors, so she's going to have depression.' It doesn't work that way."

Dr. Lucy Palermo

How to support a mom: What to say and what to avoid

One of the most practical parts of the episode is the list of phrases that, even when well-intentioned, can make things worse: "You have to do your part," "Enjoy it—this stage goes by fast," "Don't worry, it's just hormones—you'll get over it by sleeping," or "sleep when the baby sleeps," when anxiety and her body's natural rhythms are keeping her awake.

What does help is listening and validating her feelings: "I understand—you're so tired. How can I help you?" And offering concrete help: bringing food, cleaning for a day, taking care of the baby so she can rest or throwing baby showers with prepared food instead of gifts. And moms have to learn to accept that help.

Staying silent comes at a cost

If a mom with depression doesn't receive help, the doctor explains, relationships deteriorate and the condition doesn't improve: "It's not going to get better—it gets worse." When depression is present, she says, "it absolutely requires treatment": psychotherapeutic support, spiritual support and, in many cases, medication. The panelists remind us that, just as we go to the doctor to take care of our bodies, it's also a good idea to get a mental health checkup—something that's still often considered taboo in the Hispanic community.

The panelists conclude with a call to stop romanticizing motherhood and comparing ourselves to what we see on social media: "These days, social media sells us everything as perfectly polished." For those around a mother, the request is to pay attention not only to the baby but also to her.

"Motherhood isn't judged or defined by how well or poorly we perform our duties; motherhood is about something else entirely."

Watch the full episode of “Vivas y Plenas” with Dr. Lucy Palermo here. Share it with a mom you want to support.

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This content is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice. If you or someone close to you is experiencing symptoms of postpartum depression, consult a healthcare professional.

The myth that Hispanic women don't get it

Many women believe that, because they are Hispanic, breast cancer won't affect them. The doctor clarifies: although Hispanic women, as a group, have a lower incidence, "the risk is personal." And that risk doesn't depend solely on age, which is the number one factor. As she explains, other factors include smoking, a family history of cancer, being overweight, alcohol consumption, a very sedentary lifestyle, and not having had children or having had them at an older age. She also cites studies linking breast cancer to endocrine disruptors, a disrupted circadian rhythm and night shift work.

That's why, she says, the general recommendation is to start at age 40, but people with risk factors shouldn't wait that long. Want to hear how he explains it? Press play to listen to the full episode:

Self-exam: changes you shouldn't ignore

A mammogram is essential, but between exams you can look at and feel your breasts. The doctor lists the changes that warrant a doctor's visit: new lumps, redness, thickening, dimpling, changes in the skin or its texture (such as orange peel skin), nipple discharge if you're not breastfeeding, a nipple that is pulled inward, pain, or a breast that suddenly appears much larger than the other.

Her advice is clear: whenever there's a change, "don't wait until November for your mammogram," but seek help. And even if your doctor examines you during your annual checkup, she makes it clear that this does not replace a screening test.

Don't be afraid: What a mammogram is like

One of the reasons people put it off is the fear of what might come up. For the doctor, early detection "can be the difference between life and death": it increases the likelihood of finding the cancer at a more treatable stage, when treatment is less aggressive. And yes, it's scary, she says, but get tested.

The exam is simple. You make an appointment, are given a gown, undress from the waist up, and are advised not to use lotion or deodorant, as they can interfere with the results. The breast is placed between two plates that compress it for a few seconds. Usually, two images are taken of each breast—one from above and one from the side. A radiologist interprets the results in about two days and classifies them using the BI-RADS system, which ranges from 0 to 6: from repeating the exam or a normal result to cases requiring additional tests, such as an ultrasound or MRI. Above all, she recommends staying calm: when detected early, breast cancer is, in her words, "very treatable."

Pain, thermography, and cost: Three common questions

If it doesn't hurt, does that mean there's no problem? Not necessarily. "Pain doesn't mean you have cancer, but having cancer doesn't necessarily mean you'll feel pain either," explains the doctor. That's why the test is done "no matter what."

Nor, she warns, does thermography replace mammography: it can be used as a complementary tool, but it is not a diagnostic test. Regarding radiation, she states that it is minimal and that the benefits justify the risk.

As for the cost, keep in mind that many clinics offer promotions in October, that some clinics provide discounts for those who pay out of pocket, and that preventive care covered by health insurance generally has no copay. "Cheap ends up being expensive," the panelists agree.

Taking care of yourself isn't selfish

The panelists emphasize one point: women tend to take care of everyone else and put ourselves last. "We're always making sure to take our kids to their vaccinations and soccer games, but why aren't we just as attentive to our own needs?" the doctor asks. Among the tips they share are making and keeping an appointment from one year to the next, taking advantage of the reminders sent by healthcare centers, reminding each other among friends and family, and—if a diagnosis comes—staying informed, asking questions and surrounding yourself with a support network. "Together, girls, we're stronger," they conclude.

Watch the full episode of "Vivas y Plenas" with Dr. Silvia Clark here. Share it with a woman you care about, and subscribe to the channel so you don't miss future episodes.

This content is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice. If you notice any changes in your breasts, consult your doctor.

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<cite class="c-detail__cite__title">"It's not that they don't want to get married, but sometimes it's the bad examples they've seen in their own homes."</cite>

We also talked about what many young women say: they can't find a man who is courteous, a provider and a protector, and that some men can be "little princes." And about something that pains us: there's a disconnect between generations. "The questions these young women and men are asking have no one to answer them," and so they look for answers in the wrong places. In the past, the legacy was passed down; now, we said, we feel a void.

Let's be careful with what we say

One of us shared something she hears often: "Do all that now, because when you get married… enjoy your freedom," as if marriage took away freedom. If a young woman hears that from someone who's been married for years, she might think that getting married isn't the best thing. That's why we urged each other to be careful: "The best time of your life might be when you're married, building dreams."

We talked about the difference between independence, dependence and interdependence: in marriage, we form a team "without losing our own identity." And about how much weight our words carry at home. Not all men or all women are the same, and saying over the phone, "All men are the same," in front of a young child leaves a lasting impression because the child "is listening and taking that in."

<cite class="c-detail__cite__title">When we choose a partner, we're not looking for someone to make up for our shortcomings, but for someone with whom — since we're both whole — we can form a powerful unit.</cite>

From fairy tales to real life

In Hispanic culture, we grow up with the idea of "they lived happily ever after," but the reality, we told ourselves, is that marriage "is hard work that requires sacrifice, even though its rewards are beautiful." And without a soap opera script: "In real life, we don't have a soap opera script."

Here we share a practical tip: surround ourselves with married couples who have been through more and serve as healthy role models. We also recognized that social media has encouraged a lot of comparison and raised expectations, sometimes even demanding titles or unattainable things from the very beginning, forgetting that we grow along the way.

Who made those rules?

"When I finish my degree, I'm going to get married," "don't get married until you finish your degree." We asked ourselves: Who set those rules? Part of that, we said, is a fear of commitment and a fear of not doing it right. But it's possible to study while married and grow together because "love requires flexibility." One of us told us about friends who prioritized only professional success and now regret being alone, without having started a family.

And we remembered that "everything in life that's worth it requires sacrifice: work, school and marriage, too." That includes persevering, forgiving and compromising — and asking ourselves what we have to offer before demanding an endless list of requirements.

<cite class="c-detail__cite__title">"Everything in life that's worth it requires sacrifice: work, studying and marriage, too."</cite>

Team, not competition

We talked about balance. When a man is passive, a woman becomes overwhelmed; when she doesn't allow herself to be cared for, he withdraws. We shared that a woman's primary need is usually emotional security and a man's is respect and admiration. We remind ourselves that "a man needs to be empowered, admired and supported — not attacked," and that when we complement each other as a team, that dysfunctional cycle is broken: "admiring the man and loving the woman creates an unbreakable synergy."

With a touch of humor, one of us tells her daughters: "You girls are guacamole — people pay extra for you; you're not free chips." Valuing the roles we've been given is also a way of valuing ourselves.

A short list, with God at the center

When her daughters asked her what nonnegotiable qualities she looked for in her husband, her list was short: intellectual compatibility for conversation, "a firm and unshakable faith in God," and mutual attraction. You don't need an impossible list.

She told us that, when she was 18 or 19, what struck her about him was his attentiveness: at gatherings, he made a point of listening to her and making her laugh. They've been together for almost 25 years. With forgiveness, grace and "God at the center," you can get through the moments when you thought about throwing in the towel. We'll close with what her oldest daughter tells her friends: "Do you know how beautiful a thing you'll be missing out on if you don't experience a love that lasts a lifetime?"

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She explained that carbohydrates are converted into glucose, and that our bodies need glucose to function, "not just in the brain but in the muscles as well." The problem arises when we overdo it and the body can no longer burn off what we eat, so it stores it instead: "That's where a lot of problems stem from." But no food—whether natural or processed to a certain extent—"is inherently bad." What a relief, right?

Fiber makes all the difference

We learned that not all carbohydrates are the same. The doctor told us that white bread "will never be as nutritious or as high in fiber as whole-wheat bread," and that whole-wheat isn't the same as multigrain either. She gave us a very easy-to-remember rule: "The closer we stick to a food's original composition, the better it will be for our bodies."

The same goes for brown rice, which not only doesn't spike blood sugar as quickly but also contains fiber and provides "food" for the good bacteria in our gut. And take those little packets of oatmeal—the ones with pictures for kids—they're loaded with sugar. We thought what he told us was very wise: "The further the food's form strays from its original state, the more it should serve as a red flag telling you: maybe this isn't the best choice."

Our white rice, guilt-free

We know how much we love our rice. The doctor told us that white rice "is notorious for causing one of those glucose spikes," but she reassured us: "A glucose spike is a normal reaction." What we can do is watch our portion sizes and pair it with a protein, like chicken or fish, and ideally with vegetables. That way, the body processes it more slowly, and we feel full longer.

And that goes very well with our meals: rice and beans is a more nutritious combination, and cassava, sweet potatoes and yams are complex carbohydrates that provide fiber. She also mentioned that some experts suggest saving carbohydrates for the end of the meal, but clarified that this is just a cue for our bodies and that we shouldn't obsess over it.

Gluten, the gut and fermented foods

We also asked her about gluten, because it seems like we all know someone who's stopped eating it. She told us that anything can be an irritant, that some people have a genuine sensitivity, but that "the root cause" is usually a leaky gut. That's why she recommended eating foods that support that layer of the gut, and that's where probiotics and prebiotics come in. Ideally, we should get them naturally, although "supplementation is also very important" when natural intake isn't enough.

Among fermented foods, she mentioned kefir—which many of us know as "kumis" in Spanish—as well as certain yogurts, kimchi and sauerkraut.

Store-bought bread, quinoa and feeling satisfied

Something that surprised us: bread fresh from the supermarket oven lasts barely a couple of days, while the bread on the shelves can last a month. The reason? They add sugar, because "sugar loves water and moisture," and that keeps the bread moist. They don't do it to harm us, she told us with a laugh, but now we know what to look for when we shop.

We also talked about quinoa, which one of us has been using instead of rice. The doctor explained that it's high in fiber, doesn't cause that spike in blood sugar and helps us feel full. And that matters, because when we go a couple of hours without eating, we give our liver a chance to use the energy it has already stored; if we consume sugar all the time, "we never give our liver a chance to do its job." Here's a tip we shared: at first, mix a little rice with quinoa so our bodies can gradually get used to the taste and texture.

Enjoying our culture, with understanding

We ended the conversation with an idea that really resonated with us: these are delicious carbohydrates that we don't have to cut out entirely. We can continue to enjoy our meals, our cultures and our family recipes—only now with a little more understanding of how our bodies process them.

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She adds that technology makes something possible today that wasn't possible just a few years ago: she can pursue her MBA "little by little," one class at a time, without leaving home or her children. "Women have such a beautiful duality: we can wear many hats, and we make it work. That's a little harder for men," she says with a laugh.

The conversation also touches on a more difficult period: Evelyn lost her three-year-old son, and at that time she slowed down her career to be with him. When God took him from her, she resumed her studies and earned a master's degree in journalism. "There are times when you have to take a break," she says, without guilt and with a palpable sense of gratitude. The break, when it comes, doesn't erase the dream, it just changes its pace for a while.

Being intentional, even when it's hard

How do you juggle so many roles—mom, wife, businesswoman, educator—without losing yourself along the way? For Evelyn, the key is intentionality. "If you know that this is going to be your time with your son or daughter, they'll know that they're deeply loved, and that you'll be back," she explains. Being intentional isn't just about the kids; it's also about your husband, because it's easy, between working from home and taking care of the children, to forget a little about your role as a wife. "We're a team," she insists. "It's not like everything is up to mom."

A team, not a competition

One of the episode's clearest metaphors compares marriage to a baseball team: "There's always a good batter, and there's always someone who catches the ball well. Why would you put someone who bats well in the pitcher's box if that's not their strength?" In her home, that translates to something very specific: her husband has done the laundry from day one—because he loves it and does it better than she does—and she handles the cooking.

And Evelyn strongly emphasizes one thing: when her husband mentions at gatherings that he does the laundry and someone laughs, he responds without hesitation that it doesn't make him any less of a man. On the contrary, he's happy to lighten his wife's load, and his daughters are growing up with a high standard of what they deserve: "They need help, too."

The program also highlights a trend very common in Hispanic culture: that everything ends up falling on the mother, to the point where there are husbands who don't even know their children's shoe sizes. The call to action is for dads to be intentional as well: know the names of their children's teachers and friends, and sit down and talk with them, not just the mom. As an example, they share the story of a dad who, every Saturday, tells his children, "Mom is leaving, and we're going to clean the house for her." A simple gesture, but one that acknowledges everything a mom carries on her shoulders the rest of the week.

The guilt that shouldn't rule us

With so many roles to juggle, guilt creeps in easily: the feeling that something is being neglected, or comparing yourself to "that mom who does so much and I don't." The episode offers a simple way to let go of that guilt: no one taught us how to be moms anywhere; we're learning as we go, just as each child—with their own personality—forces us to learn anew. "I'm not the perfect mom," Evelyn sums up, "but I'm not raising perfect kids either."

That phrase, said with a laugh but in all seriousness, is perhaps the heart of the episode: it's not about doing everything right, but about being present, being flexible, and knowing that dreams, like roles, don't pause. They transform, season after season.

Want to listen to the full conversation?

Watch Episode 90, "How to Make Progress Toward Your Goals Without Neglecting Your Home," with Evelyn Mesías, here

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Because creating, Carolina reminds us, is much more than just making something new. It's that capacity—so uniquely ours—to breathe life into ideas, projects, a home or a space that felt lifeless and that, with just a plant or a well-placed painting, begins to breathe differently. "People came in and said, 'Oh, a woman's here,'" she says with a laugh, recalling the day she transformed her husband's desk without even trying too hard. That is, at its core, our power: to transform a space with what we have at our fingertips.

Why we hide the best parts of ourselves

And yet, how many times do we keep that part hidden for fear that it isn't "good enough" for the world? We've been taught—without anyone saying it out loud—which things count as achievements and which don't—and so we start to believe that placing a plant, tidying up a corner or simply listening to a friend isn't, in reality, any kind of power at all. Carolina experienced this firsthand: for years she thought her creative power lay only in acting, until she discovered that it also lay in supporting other women, in her intuition and in her ability to listen. That feminine energy—she says—has been somewhat wounded in recent decades, and that has distorted the way we see ourselves.

Because we women are, in many ways, givers of life: not only when we bring children into the world, but every time we enter a dull space and bring color back to it, every time we support a friend who arrives "feeling crushed" and help her get back on her feet. It's a beautiful quality—and one that the world, for some time now, has been gradually eroding.

That sixth sense we shouldn't silence

One of the most heartwarming conversations in the episode revolves around intuition. That ability to perceive what others don't see, to sense that something isn't quite right even if we can't fully explain it. "In the end, we're always right, so they might as well listen to us from the start," jokes one of the hosts, but behind the laughter lies a profound truth: that intuition, that wisdom we build by talking with our friends and sisters before making a decision, is a gift. It's what allows us—at work, at home, wherever we are—to offer a perspective that no one else can provide.

And yet, how often do we doubt that inner voice because we fear that raising it will be mistaken for shouting? On the show, they put it with a clarity worth remembering: speaking up isn't shouting; it's making ourselves heard without fear; it's sharing that opinion that validates and adds value. "My dad always told me: 'Your voice has value. Always speak up if you disagree—you have every right to express yourself respectfully—but your voice has value,'" recalls one of the hosts. Those words, she says, still resonate with her every time she finds herself in a situation where a woman's voice isn't always taken into account.

The silence we need to hear ourselves again

If there's one call to action that stands out from everything else in this episode, it's this: to reclaim our creative power, we need silence. Not silence as an absence, but as a space to return to ourselves. Carolina puts it with an image that stays with you: you don't have to climb a mountain to reconnect with yourself; you can climb your inner mountain, right there, in your day-to-day life, and ask yourself how you're disconnecting from yourself.

How long has it been since you stopped to look at a flower? How long has it been since you truly listened to the birds, or simply turned off the radio in the car and sat in silence for a while? These are small, almost invisible gestures, but they're the ones that allow us to feel the pulse of who we truly are again, instead of living by lending our creative energy to everything but ourselves.

Staying home doesn't mean sitting idle

One of the most moving parts of the conversation dispels a guilt that many of us women know all too well: the feeling that devoting ourselves to the home—to raising children, to running a household—is somehow giving up on ourselves. Carolina shares this from her own experience—when she put her career on hold for a while to care for a sick son—and how her own daughter, now grown, encourages her today not to completely abandon what she studied, what she loves, her calling.

And here an idea emerges that's worth pondering for a moment: building a home is also like building a business. Not one that the world recognizes by that name, but certainly one of the most important ones that exist—that of nurturing our children's self-esteem and identity, a fruit we often don't see right away, but one that eventually ripens. Staying home for a while doesn't mean coming away empty-handed: it means contributing, supporting and planting something that will bear fruit later on. Resting, in that sense, isn't the same as stopping progress either. It's part of the same journey.

We aren't all creative in the same ways, and that's okay

With the tenderness and humor that come only from speaking from personal experience, Carolina also reminds us of something liberating: we don't all have to be good at everything. She herself recounts, with a laugh, how she ended up sewing a pair of pants onto her own clothes in a sewing class, or how she knitted a lopsided blanket while dealing with a cancer diagnosis—and still kept it, because it was her way of processing that moment. "There are areas where you're not creative," she says, "and that's okay." The beauty of it is that we can rely on each other's creativity: ask for help, ask questions, learn from those who do know—without that taking anything away from us.

On the show, they experience this firsthand: some organize, others guide and still others bring joy. Each one shines in her own way, and that difference—far from being a problem—is what makes the whole group work. Your place to shine isn't determined by your surroundings. It's determined by what's inside you.

Your talents have a purpose

The episode closes with a reflection that could very well sum it all up: our talents are a gift—something we neither choose nor earn, but rather receive. And the wisdom with which we develop them—what we build with them, what we add to them in terms of knowledge and experience—is often where we find our purpose. You don't need to have everything figured out or be creative in every area. All you need to do is stop underestimating what you already have inside you.

So if this week you feel like your spark has dimmed a little, take it as an invitation: pause, be still and listen again to that inner voice that knows exactly what you were made for. Your voice matters. Your creativity is powerful. And the place where you're meant to shine today is still yours.

Want to hear the full conversation?

Check out Episode 89, "Don't Let Yourself Fade Away," with Carolina Carvajal, right here

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The risk, says Francisco, is that many parents aren't very involved in their children's day-to-day lives, and when a change occurs, they attribute it to "a phase." The difference is that a rebellious teenager remains sociable, whereas one who also self-isolates and creates distance from those closest to them almost always has something deeper going on.

Truly knowing your child

Francisco explains that, when a case of suicide comes to light, parents almost always say the same thing: they didn't realize it, they didn't notice. He shared the case of a 19-year-old, a good student and a quiet young man, whom his own parents described as "a good boy." No one saw it coming: After an internal struggle he never shared with anyone, he made a decision that cost him his life. Being a quiet child, Francisco insists, doesn't mean they aren't going through something; often it simply means that no one is talking to them.

The home where you can't cry

Francisco paints a familiar scene: a child comes home from school after being bullied, looking to tell Mom or Dad what happened. If the response is "I don't have time," or if a child who comes home sad hears that "men don't cry," the message he receives is that his home isn't a place where he can express how he feels. Those emotions that find no outlet build up, and the most common mistake parents make, says Francisco, is to react out of fear rather than love: controlling, demanding explanations, instead of asking thoughtful questions that encourage the child to open up.

When artificial intelligence replaces parents

Francisco is clear about why today's young people turn so often to artificial intelligence: It listens to them and gives them advice — two things they often don't find at home. He mentions a widely known case — a teenager who sought that kind of listening and validation in a conversation with an AI, with tragic consequences. The point, he says, is not to demonize technology, but to understand that a child will look somewhere to be heard, and that place should be, first and foremost, their own home.

<cite class="c-detail__cite__title">Artificial intelligence: it listens to them and offers advice — two things they often don't find at home.</cite><span class="c-detail__cite__author">Francisco Robledo</span>

What parents can do today

Francisco sums up his advice in a simple idea: A good intention without a plan of action is just a wish. These are the specific steps he proposes:

Francisco concludes with a personal anecdote: When his son was young, on car rides he would listen to him talk about his life without offering advice — just listening. Today, as an adult, his son still calls him for advice because he found in him "an ear this big." That, he says, is the primary responsibility of a father or mother — and the solution to much of what drives a child toward a crisis today: It lies at home.

If you or someone you know is going through this

If you or someone you care about is having suicidal thoughts or going through a crisis, you are not alone. Call or text 988, the Suicide Prevention and Crisis Line, available 24 hours a day with service in Spanish. Talking is the first step.

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Watch the full episode with Francisco Robledo here

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The Photo That Hurt

Ingrid recalls that, for a time at her church, she gave more than she had to: her own money, time, and tasks that no one had asked her to do. Years later, on a different project, the team forgot to include her in a group photo. The whole team was there—except her. And as women, we can come to believe that giving so much of ourselves guarantees us a place—until a detail like that proves us wrong and fills us with resentment, as happened to Ingrid for weeks.

As she sought God in the midst of that resentment, she sensed a response different from what she expected: "Become as I became: I became a servant and emptied myself," she felt God telling her, quoting Philippians 2. Ever since then, before saying yes to something, she discerns whether she's doing it for applause or because she was called to that moment.

Being Kind to Yourself

Ingrid recalls that a friend, during a difficult time, said something to her that threw her off balance: "You have to be kind to yourself." She resisted at first, until she understood what her friend was pointing out: she is kind to others, but not to herself. Flor believes that there are pressures that come from the system—from the roles we're expected to fulfill—and pressures we place on ourselves because of past mistakes, and that forgiveness must apply to both.

Ingrid applies this to everyday life: among so many roles—mother, wife, homeschool teacher, cook, pastor, singer—the one that underpins all the others is being a child of God. That's where forgiveness comes in, for example, when a meal doesn't turn out right or when she leaves clothes unfolded on the couch.

Excellence, Not Perfection

Ingrid shares a concept she often teaches in talks for women: excellence is God's grace at work to do what needs to be done; perfection, on the other hand, does not depend on our own strength. With that distinction, she says, she freed herself from the pressure of having to achieve everything on her own.

Silencing the Noise and Thriving

At the beginning of the year, Ingrid felt there was too much noise around her and took a break from social media. She felt free, relieved, and light. Flor Elena connects this to one of her favorite chapters in *Hinds' Feet in High Places*: the one about the little wildflowers, which bloom every day even though almost no one notices them, and find their joy in giving of themselves without expecting anything in return. Ingrid recognizes herself in that; as a young woman, people called her "too much," and today she embraces that intensity as part of who she is.

Happiness is like a fountain

As women, it's easy to fall into the trap of comparison: admiring someone else who seems to have it all together and feeling that we can't measure up. Ingrid distinguishes between the kind of comparison that fosters growth and the kind that only adds pressure, and she sums up her own transformation—including losing nearly 80 pounds—with an image: "Happiness is like a fountain," and what matters is which one we drink from. Among all her titles, the one that underpins the rest is being a child of God. Anyone who today carries the pressure of having to be everything to everyone can, like Ingrid, start with a single decision: to forgive themselves.

Liberty University: Scholarships for Hispanic Families

This episode of "Vivas y Plenas" is brought to you by Liberty University, which is offering scholarships to Hispanic families who believe in faith, traditional values, and work as part of their identity—whether on campus or 100% online. Learn more at liberty.edu/UnaVisita.

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In this conversation, we explore how to nurture that bond from childhood, how a mother's role changes at each stage, and what we must let go of for the relationship to survive into adulthood. Because parenting always ends in the same paradox: what you let go of takes care of itself.

Children are like a seed

Raquel opens the conversation with an illustration: children are like a seed held in one's hand, and depending on how it's watered, it will grow. From the time they're small, how we interact with them and show them how relationships work shapes what happens later. And what comes next is clear: there comes a time when they are no longer obligated to be our children or to stay with us, and they'll only long for that relationship if we nurtured it from the very beginning.

Penny, a mother of three boys, agrees and adds something that's often left out of conversations about parenting: enjoy them. She describes the impact of videos where a mom dances and asks her son to film her, but what's actually captured is the child's face as he watches her. A mother who enjoys motherhood creates a bond simply by being happy.

From caregiver to companion on the journey: The stages of motherhood

Raquel explains that what helped her most was understanding that children go through stages, but that we mothers also need to grow alongside them. When they're babies, we're caregivers who provide security. When they're children, we teach them and set boundaries. During adolescence, we become a sort of coach cheering from the sidelines: "This is how you handle this situation; now it's your turn." And when they're adults, it's no longer about directing but about walking alongside them, being friends, listening, and asking questions.

The fundamental shift lies in the type of question we ask. Instead of giving the answer, Raquel suggests asking why they're making that decision, so that they can reach their own conclusions. Each child asks for something different: with one of her daughters, the conversation begins over the phone with a simple "How are you doing?" with the other, you have to spend time together until, at some point, a window opens and the conversation emerges.

Asking the right question and knowing how to receive the answer

Penny says that with boys, the classic "How are you?" always gets the same "Fine" response, so she had to learn to ask questions that would actually open things up. But the real challenge, she says, isn't in the question but in what comes next: as they grow up, the answers stop being what you expect.

"The answer itself will determine how you respond," she states. And that's the point: being shocked by what a child shares might be exactly what makes them decide never to share anything again. Added to that is the instinct to offer solutions, which comes through in the conversation with humor and honesty, because we moms have been there before. But often children don't come looking for a solution; they just want to be heard, and all it takes is lending an ear to understand the full picture.

Respecting a decision that isn't your favorite

Penny proposes three principles for adulthood: ask questions, don't be shocked by the answers, and respect decisions even if they aren't your own. She says this without any pretension: it's not her favorite decision; there are others that are much nicer, but she respects it. Sometimes we assume that with our children, we don't need to show the same respect we do toward anyone else, but it's actually the exact opposite.

Flor Elena takes it a step further. If everyone outside the home respects that person, but at home we keep treating them as if they were four years old, that person cannot develop or reach a healthy adulthood with their own boundaries. And there's the fear, which the panel doesn't deny, that we'll always be afraid they'll fail. It's normal. What can't happen is for fear to be the driving force all the time. As Yudy points out, unconditional love doesn't depend on them making the best decisions: you're there to celebrate their victories and also to cry and reassess.

Stepping into their world

The most concrete story in the episode is Penny's story about sports. When her children were young and everything revolved around sports, she realized she had two options: to be the mom who carries the bags and the food, or to be the mom who sits on the sidelines watching. She chose the second option, and that meant deliberately learning about sports. To this day, a large part of her relationship with them is built on that.

But it didn't work the same way with all three of them. One of her sons isn't into sports: he likes technology, reading, museums, art, and movies. And she had to learn about that world, too. The bottom line is that every child has their own point of entry, and finding it is more about opening your heart than technique. With boys, those shared moments open the door to difficult conversations: sitting together watching a game, during halftime, things come up that wouldn't come up if addressed head-on.

Penny adds something that's rarely said: children also have to learn to deal with their mother's emotions. She's had conversations where she cried in front of them and then explained what was going on, because one day they'll be with someone who goes through the same thing. The relationship goes both ways, especially once they're adults and can give back, too.

Values aren't just taught through empty words

Raquel insists that principles aren't passed on by simply stating them, but by living them, and she quotes a verse that guides her: "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." She explains it as a kind of "baggage": what takes root in a child's heart is what they carry with them when they leave home.

Proof that this "baggage" had made the journey came in the form of a story. One of her daughters studied music production at Berklee and composed a song so catchy that one of her professors organized an event to feature it. It was to promote a cannabis-infused beverage. As she told the story, her parents listened with bated breath, because their daughter is an adult now and could decide whatever she wanted. She said no: she'd rather her song not be played everywhere than see it used for something that didn't represent her.

Motherhood doesn't end, it transforms

We tend to think motherhood has an end, says Penny, but she believes it actually undergoes a transformation. Supporting a child as they navigate a relationship that isn't working, for example, puts into action everything you taught them, because what we said is one thing, and what they truly absorbed is quite another.

Penny says that being aware that we, too, can transform and adapt to what that child needs at every stage of life is what makes the difference between a relationship that's enjoyed throughout one's life and one that gradually deteriorates. And the reward is clear: seeing them happy, fulfilling their dreams, and starting their own families. But to achieve that, we must invest intentionally.

When they start their own families

Raquel shares something she heard when she was newly married that reshaped her relationship with her own family. When you get married, your family becomes the one you're building, and the one you grew up in becomes your extended family. The same applies when children grow up: they now have their own core family and different priorities. It doesn't mean being left out; it means understanding that the dynamics have changed.

That's where the episode's most practical piece of advice comes from. If we smother them and try to be there all the time, we'll run into resistance. If we give them space and make sure the moments we share enrich their lives- laughing, traveling, doing things together, and not just having serious conversations- the relationship changes form but continues. Raquel adds an idea that applies to both sides: we change every seven years. Neither they nor we are the same, and the risk is clinging to the image of the seven-year-old child—at mealtimes and in everything else.

The question we're afraid to ask

There's a question that runs through the end of the episode: What kind of mother do my children need right now? Several of the women present admit that they ask themselves this all the time, but that they've never asked their children directly.

Penny did ask it when all three went off to college, and she found herself facing an empty nest. One replied that he didn't need anything, and that answer alone set things straight for her. Another asked for something specific she never would have guessed on her own. The challenge, she acknowledges, isn't asking the question but receiving the answer without resentment: accepting a request for space as a legitimate boundary, not a rejection. When they asked her to call less often, she handled it this way: if I can't talk to them, I'll talk about them. And she began to pray.

Raquel says that text messages saved her. A photo that pops up as a memento on her phone, an "I'm thinking of you," a word of encouragement. Her daughters know they're under no obligation to reply, and that's precisely why it works: it arrives without pressure and is saved.

The episode closes with an image of Flor Elena, the same one she used at her daughter's wedding: children are eagles who must fly as high as their destiny, their gifts, and their purpose allow, and we mothers are the anchors that hold them steady in prayer and propel them forward.

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But the conversation takes an uncomfortable turn halfway through, because being attentive is beautiful—until it becomes a one-way street: always giving. In this conversation, we explore how to cultivate intentional connections, how to recognize when a friendship has ceased to be reciprocal, and how to let go without ceasing to care.

The question almost no one stops to listen to

Ivethe opens the episode with a personal memory. A few years ago, she arrived in Miami going through a difficult time, and someone asked her how she was doing. She answered truthfully—"I'm really struggling"—and the other person was left at a loss for words. They weren't prepared for an honest answer.

The panel agrees that "how are you?" has become a mere formality: it's asked in passing, with no real time to listen, which is why almost all of us automatically answer "fine." But they also point out something important: you don't have to open up to everyone. The key is to have a small group of trusted people with whom you can truly be honest, because one of the deepest human needs is to feel heard and valued.

<cite class="c-detail__cite__title">The phrase "if you need anything, give me a call" isn't enough.</cite>

There's a phrase that sounds generous but doesn't work in practice: "If there's anything you need, give me a call." Las Vivas put it bluntly: when someone says that to us, we don't call. No one picks up the phone to ask for a bowl of soup. Being attentive isn't about being available—it's about taking the initiative.

The panel also identifies an uncomfortable pattern: we tend to wait for a tragedy to strike before reaching out. We find out someone is in the hospital, and then we call. But many people aren't suffering from a visible illness—they're suffering from loneliness—and that doesn't send out warning signs. The question that lingers is an honest one: Am I truly paying attention, or am I just fulfilling an obligation because the situation is serious?

Intent is shown through small gestures

One of the speakers shares the example closest to her heart: her 83-year-old mother remembers almost everyone's birthdays and calls them on the very same day. When her own birthday comes around, she receives a huge number of messages—and it's no coincidence: she's been sowing those seeds for years. Some people tell her, "it's so nice that you remembered me—I hadn't received a single call today."

That's where ideas come from that cost nothing: a little note in the mail when you remember someone, a text message so the day doesn't pass by unnoticed. And a very practical recommendation: when there's no time to call, send a voice message instead of a text, because in a written message, you can't sense the intention behind the words. An "I'm on the run, but happy birthday" said in your own voice feels different from sending birthday wishes on Facebook or Instagram, which the panel describes as the most impersonal thing there is.

The connection starts with one person, but it has to be mutual

Here the conversation takes a different turn. If I want to be friends with someone, the initiative is up to me: to call, to reach out, to show I care. But what happens when that's never reciprocated? One of the panel members shares that she had a friend she'd call over and over without ever getting a response, until she decided to stop forcing a relationship that the other person didn't want to pursue.

The panel doesn't see this as resentment but as healthy self-esteem. It's sad and it's hard, but it's also wise: protecting your own heart is part of loving oneself. Let's be intentional in reaching out to others, they say, but let's also learn to read the atmosphere. The affection you send out should be returned.

When friendship becomes an emotional drain

The panel describes a dynamic that many will recognize: people who only show up when they have a problem, who seek you out so you'll listen to them or solve their issues, and who, when everything is fine, don't remember you. They use you as an "emotional trash can," and it works precisely because you're reliable. Later, when you're the one who needs support, all you get in return is silence, unanswered messages, or a "seen" that never leads to a reply.

What's almost never said out loud is the real cost: listening isn't free. "When you're telling me about your life and your problems, it weighs on my heart," says one of them, because there's a genuine connection and she truly cares. Hence the need for balance and knowing who to give your time to. The conclusion that ties the whole episode together is this: friendship has to be mutual.

The support that fades (and the support that remains)

Iveth delivers the episode's most powerful closing moment. She explains that statistics show that when a person goes through a crisis—a diagnosis, a death—they're surrounded by people during the first few weeks: messages, calls, everyone's concern. But over time, that support fades away, until only one or two people remain. Sometimes, none at all.

And she shares a story that says it all. One of her clients tragically lost her husband; they were both in their forties. Another widow gave her client advice that was as honest as it was devastating: "Enjoy this moment now, while you have everyone's attention, because after a month, no one will remember you."

Therein, perhaps, lies the true measure of being there for someone. We all show up the first week. The hard part—and the valuable part—is remembering a month later, six months later, when the rest of the world has gone back to its daily routine and that person is still going through their own struggles in silence. Flor Elena closes with the phrase that sustains this group both on and off camera: together we're stronger.

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Sun protection is much more than just avoiding a sunburn at the beach; it is a key habit for preventing photoaging, hyperpigmentation and skin cancer. This episode invites us to understand that taking care of our skin health is a daily decision that requires consistency, judgment and knowledge.

Sun protection from a clinical perspective

Dr. Mejía emphasizes that, from an early age, we must educate ourselves about the effects of visible and ultraviolet radiation. Exposure to the sun without proper protection not only affects our appearance but also the skin's internal structure in the long term.

In Dr. Mejía's opinion, incorporating sunscreen into one's daily routine should not be viewed as a luxury or a trend, but rather as a fundamental act of preventive health and responsible self-care.

The science behind radiation and ingredients

The specialist points out that UVA radiation penetrates deep into the dermis, causing premature aging and dark spots, while UVB rays are directly responsible for sunburns. "Skin care doesn't stop when you step into the shade. Blue light from screens and visible radiation also require attention," she explains.

"Skin care doesn't stop when you step into the shade. Blue light from screens and visible radiation also require attention"Orquídea Mejía

Among the most effective products on the market are those containing active ingredients with antioxidant and soothing properties, such as centella asiatica, and pigmented ingredients containing iron oxide, which are essential for blocking visible light and preventing the worsening of conditions like melasma.

How consistency in skincare transformed her professional approach

Before establishing her career in dermatology, Dr. Mejía explored various medical fields until she developed a passion for prevention and skin health. Her interest in the interaction between environmental exposure and the skin's biological response led her to specialize in advanced photoprotection.

During her training, she identified a lack of preventive education among the general public, which motivated her to share rigorous information on the use of topical sunscreens, oral photoprotection and the early detection of skin abnormalities using the ABCDE rule.

A medical approach that promotes health, not just aesthetics

In Dr. Mejía's eyes, good dermatological treatment rivals any clinical specialty in academic rigor and must always be grounded in scientific evidence. Her goal is to educate informed patients who understand the value of prevention.

According to the doctor, the most valuable aspect of a consultation is not merely prescribing a product, but guiding the patient in discovering the specific needs of their skin type to ensure sustainable results over time.

Modern challenges in skin care

Dr. Mejía acknowledges that the habits of today's society present particular challenges: constant exposure to digital screens, urban pollution, misinformation on social media about homemade cosmetic trends or those without clinical backing.

One of the points she emphasizes most is that sunscreen should be reapplied every two to three hours, especially in environments with high sun exposure or when sweating, dispelling the myth that a single application in the morning is sufficient for the entire day.

The influence of daily routine: The silent key

Flor Elena and Dr. Mejía agree that small daily habits can either enhance or ruin skin health. Maintaining a consistent routine of cleansing, moisturizing and sun protection supports a healthy skin barrier, while neglecting these practices or using inappropriate products can accelerate cellular damage.

Both emphasize that a disciplined, established routine not only prevents serious diseases like melanoma but also results in radiant, balanced and healthy skin over the years.

Tinted or untinted sunscreen? Choose based on your needs

Dr. Mejía explains that the choice between a tinted sunscreen and a clear one depends on each patient's skin type and pre-existing conditions.

Both agree that there is no single universal formula: while tinted sunscreens are essential for patients prone to hyperpigmentation, clear or fluid-textured sunscreens may be the best option for oily skin or people who engage in outdoor physical activity.

When misinformation clashes with skin health

Another challenge specialists face is the proliferation of myths about vitamin D absorption and the use of sunscreen. Flor Elena points out how misinformation on the internet often leads people to stop using sunscreen out of fear of vitamin deficiencies or chemical ingredients.

Both agree that the key lies in two things: always consulting with trained healthcare professionals and learning to choose dermatologically tested products backed by reputable studies and laboratories.

Skin cancer prevention: Taking the step to get screened

Dr. Mejía emphasizes the importance of performing regular self-exams of the skin using the ABCDE rule (Asymmetry, Borders, Color, Diameter, and Evolution) to detect any suspicious changes in moles.

Although many people put off seeing a dermatologist due to lack of time or disinterest, the specialist reminds us that early detection is crucial, encouraging patients to schedule annual checkups as a fundamental part of comprehensive health care.

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Becoming a teenager isn't just a profound change for children—it's also a process of transition, maturity and redefinition for mothers. This episode is sponsored by Liberty University, an institution committed to the development of Hispanic families through an excellent education grounded in faith, traditional values, and hard work.

Maternal grief: Accepting that your child’s childhood is over

Carolina explains that the first essential step in navigating this stage is to process "maternal grief." Accepting that the child stage—when the mother was fully involved in play and daily physical care—has come to an end.

Often, mothers try to cling to childhood by saying, "My son is still just a little boy," which prevents young people from growing up in a healthy way. To allow them to move forward, a mother must let go of the role she played in the past and courageously embrace this new stage.

From main character to a supporting role in their story

During the first 10 years of life, motherhood demands constant physical effort (sleepless nights, continuous care, hand-in-hand support). However, once adolescence arrives, the work becomes primarily mental and emotional.

"Before, you were the lead in their story; now you become a supporting actor," Carolina points out. Stepping into the background requires an internal adjustment on the mother's part: learning to take a step back, observing with a broader perspective to provide security without stifling their growth or overprotecting them.

Healing one’s own heard to avoid projecting wounds onto children

With their hands less physically occupied, Carolina invites mothers to tend to their own hearts. Their children's teenage years often trigger unresolved wounds from the mother's past, such as fear of rejection, childhood memories or family patterns like the "silent treatment."

When a teenager responds with coldness or distance, instead of taking it personally or arguing on the same emotional level as the young person, the mother should ask herself: Why does this hurt or upset me so much? Healing those wounds prevents the transfer of pain and allows her to model mature and healthy reactions.

Unconditional love, but with conditional relationships

One of the most revealing points of the conversation is the difference between love and coexistence. Although a mother's love for her children is unconditional, the relationship must be grounded in mutual respect and boundaries.

Allowing children to treat you like a "punching bag" where any kind of behavior is accepted is not healthy. Modeling a healthy relationship involves telling them firmly yet lovingly when their words hurt or when certain behavior is unacceptable. In this way, you teach them to take responsibility for their emotions and to build healthy interpersonal relationships in the future.

Letting go of control and guiding through prayer

It's natural for parents' voices to lose some direct influence during adolescence, as young people seek their own identity and independence. That's why Carolina emphasizes the importance of cultivating trusted mentors and supportive environments for them from an early age.

When verbal communication becomes difficult, a mother's most powerful tool is no longer control or argument, but prayer. Letting go of control and "fighting the good fight" in the secret place for the well-being of her children allows her to trust that God continues to work in the heart of each one of them.

Fulfilled moms, successful children: The key to Independence

Carolina emphasizes that a woman's identity cannot be anchored solely in motherhood. When a mother's life depends emotionally on her child's every reaction, the process of separation becomes painful and exhausting for both.

Offering children the example of a fulfilled mother—one who cultivates her own projects, friendships, career and faith—is the best gift for their future. A model of fulfillment at home gives children the security they need to become independent, mature and self-confident adults.

Liberty University: Scholarships for Hispanic families

This episode of “Vivas y Plenas” is brought to you by Liberty University, which is offering scholarships to Hispanic families who believe in faith, traditional values and work as an integral part of our identity—whether on campus or 100% online.

A visit could change your life and that of your family. Learn more at liberty.edu/UnaVisita or via the link in the description of this content.

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In this second part, Dr. Borges shares practical tools for setting healthy boundaries, strengthening our identity, regaining self-confidence and learning to live with greater clarity, strength and emotional peace.

Two types of narcissism: Behavior and personality disorder

Dr. Borges makes a key distinction: there is narcissism as a behavior—a pattern that a person can "turn on or off like a switch"—over which they have some self-control and the ability to recognize it and seek help to change. And then there is narcissism as a personality disorder, a much deeper mental health condition. In the latter cases, the person lacks empathy, is unable to validate others, is extremely self-sufficient and does not seek help because they feel perfect. "It's much deeper, more dangerous and much harder to control," she explained.

Why they're so good at manipulation

"The more intelligent a person is, the greater their ability to persuade and manipulate..."

According to Dr. Borges, many people with narcissistic traits are also extremely intelligent, and that intelligence often goes hand in hand with manipulation: the more intelligent a person is, the greater their ability to persuade and manipulate, which ultimately has a significant impact on their romantic relationships, work and daily life.

Warning signs at the start of a relationship

One of the most practical points of the conversation was how to spot early warning signs, especially in young women who lack the experience to discern them. At first, Dr. Borges explains, there's usually "love bombing": the narcissistic person treats you like a princess, opens the door for you and showers you with attention. For this reason, her specific recommendation is to wait four to six months into the relationship before fully trusting the other person, since that is when people "let their guard down" and their true nature begins to emerge, gradually.

This gradual change manifests as constant self-doubt, feeling inferior, feeling unvalidated, anxiety, and comments from close friends or family (a friend, a mother) who notice red flags that the person involved sometimes downplays or refuses to acknowledge.

Boundaries are for you, not to change the narcissist

Dr. Borges was emphatic: none of these tools is designed to change the narcissist, "because no one changes anyone else." The goal is to protect yourself from victimization and emotional abuse. Communicating clearly and setting specific boundaries is essential, but Dr. Borges clarifies an important nuance: a boundary isn't a message delivered to the narcissist to let them know what bothers you (that only gives them more information to manipulate you with), but rather a personal, internal decision about what you will and won't accept—which you then simply enforce consistently.

"The narcissist cannot change even if they want to," if they've been diagnosed with a personality disorder, since that would require years of therapy that the person is often not even willing to seek out. The only thing the narcissist truly understands isn't verbal boundaries, but consistent action: withdrawing from the conversation when the tone is disrespectful, and doing so every single time, without putting on a show or losing control (something that, Dr. Borges points out, the narcissist deeply enjoys, because it gives them the opportunity to make it seem like the problem lies with the other person).

Don't depend on their validation

Another essential point is not to depend on validation from a narcissist, since they don't know how to offer genuine validation. Their need to feel superior stems from a deep-seated insecurity. That's why Dr. Borges recommends working on your inner dialogue: who you are shouldn't depend on how that person reacts—whether it's your mom, husband, boss or child.

How to tell the difference between a narcissist and someone who needs healing

The conversation included an important caveat: not everyone who reacts in a difficult way is a narcissist. There's a very fine line between actual narcissism and someone who, for example, has been abused and needs emotional healing—not a label. "All this information we're sharing isn't to say that everyone is a narcissist; it may simply be that they need healing," the doctor clarified, noting that confusing the two can end up causing even more harm to someone who actually needs therapeutic help.

The importance of a strong sense of self

In Dr. Borges' opinion, having a solid sense of self (knowing who you are, what you think and what your values are) is one of the best defenses against narcissism. Often, when someone chooses or is chosen by a narcissist, it's because their identity wasn't yet well-formed: the narcissist studies the person and knows exactly what to say to attract them, but they don't choose someone whose identity is too strong for them to control.

Isolation: The most dangerous warning sign

One of the most important tools Dr. Borges shared is maintaining a support network: trusted friends, balanced and objective family members, and community activities (church, a gym, a book club) that help break out of isolation. Gradual isolation, she warns, is one of the clearest red flags: the narcissist gradually distances their partner from friends and family to maintain greater control, because an isolated person is more vulnerable to relying solely on the narcissist's validation.

Recognizing the body language of those close to you is also key: many women endure this situation in silence out of shame or fear, and sometimes it's only noticeable in gestures such as looking down or distancing themselves from family. That's why the doctor urges people not to hesitate to reach out to someone showing these signs, rather than assuming that "you shouldn't get involved."

How to recognize gaslighting

Gaslighting, explains Dr. Borges, is "doubting oneself and one's own reality." The narcissistic person denies with such certainty something that actually happened that the person who experienced it ends up questioning their own memory. The key to distinguishing it from a simple difference of opinion lies in the certainty of what was experienced: "I clearly remember saying that, and you're not going to tell me I didn't say it, because I did say it," she illustrates, noting that being assertive and firm usually causes the narcissist to back down.

Practical tools: Keeping a journal and choosing Your battles

Among the most concrete tools Dr. Borges shares is keeping a record or journal of important conversations, so you don't doubt what was actually said. "At first it's a lot of work, but it's going to save you a lot of emotional and mental strain," she explained. Another key tool is learning to pick the battles that are truly worth fighting, and letting go of the ones that aren't, comparing the dynamic to a "tug of war." Whoever lets go of the rope is actually the winner, because they're protecting their own emotional well-being rather than wearing themselves out in a conflict that isn't worth it.

Is it possible to regain self-esteem after years of manipulation?

In response to this question, Dr. Borges was clear: yes, it is possible, although it is a very courageous step for someone who has been belittled for a long time. The key lies in trusting one's own perception of reality once again, since narcissism seeks precisely to pull a person out of their reality in order to control them, stripping them of their autonomy, their identity and, often, their hope.

A closing message: The freedom that no one can take away from you

Dr. Borges concluded the conversation with a spiritual message: God made you free—in body, soul and spirit—and no human being can go against the purpose God has for your life. She invited those who are going through this situation to draw closer to God and also to seek professional help from Christian psychologists or coaches, clarifying that seeking help is not a sign of madness, but rather of a genuine need to rediscover the identity that God has already given to each person.

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For Carolina, understanding the true weight of that influence—and the responsibility it entails—is the first step toward living it in an authentic, positive, and transformative way.

We all have a degree of influence, whether we realize it or not

Carolina explains that many people—especially younger ones—say, "I don't want to be a leader," without realizing that they already are. If there are people who follow you because you set an example for those around you, you already have a degree of influence. The question, then, isn't whether you have influence, but what you're going to do with the influence you've been given—starting in your own home, where your children watch and learn from you every day.

Social Media Influencers vs. Real Influence

Carolina makes an important distinction: not everyone with followers on social media exerts real influence. There are those who buy followers or create a fantasy that many young people end up believing is real. True influence, she says, is exercised over those closest to us, in our day-to-day interactions, not through the number of followers.

"Sometimes people have more faith in ChatGPT or Copilot than in exercising real faith," Carolina noted, referring to how much content on social media lacks soul and genuine connection—something you can feel, even if it's hard to explain.

Influence Is Not Manipulation

For Carolina, influence is "the ability you have to impact another person's life," and it is completely different from manipulation, which seeks personal gain. Genuine influence is modeled by example: "How did I learn to be a leader? By watching," she explained, acknowledging that although she read books on leadership, she learned above all by observing others put it into practice first.

The Difference Between Influence and Position

One of the central points of the conversation was distinguishing influence from position. According to Carolina, the most basic level of leadership is when someone is given a title, but that doesn't automatically make them a leader. "Would those people follow you if you didn't have that title?" she asked, recalling a former boss of hers about whom she used to say, "Even if he didn't pay me, I'd follow him to the ends of the earth," because he was a man of integrity.

Carolina also shared the story of an employee who, upon receiving a promotion in the family business, wasn't prepared for that level of influence and ended up having other coworkers do her nails during work hours. "When you give a position to someone who isn't ready, their true character is revealed," she reflected.

The Ego Versus Identity

Carolina distinguishes between the ego ("the image I want people to believe I am") and true identity—what God created us to be. When a person acts from the ego, they seek power; when they act from their identity, they seek to serve. "A leader who wants to use their influence to serve isn't seeking that for the sake of power," she explained, noting that many bosses who do nothing but yell and demand silence from their teams are, in reality, acting out of deep insecurity.

<cite class="c-detail__cite__title">"A leader who wants to use their influence to serve isn't doing so for the sake of power"</cite><span class="c-detail__cite__author">Carolina Donis</span>

Being Salt and Light: Salt Must Come Out of the Salt Shaker

One of Carolina's most powerful reflections was on what it truly means to be salt and light. "You're not salt inside the salt shaker," she said, referring to the tendency to stay only with those who think just like us, within our comfort zone. "For salt to have an effect, it has to come out of the salt shaker": if we stay inside, we're not helping anyone. Sometimes that outward influence is simply walking alongside someone, without needing to have all the answers.

Who is influencing you?

Carolina also invites us to reflect on who influences us. For her, the important thing is to surround ourselves with people of integrity, whose "yes is yes and whose no is no," who are consistent wherever they may be. She shared that one of the greatest influences in her life was her grandmother, who only completed sixth grade, but whose teachings still guide her decades later: true influence doesn't depend on titles or diplomas, but on the character that inspires genuine admiration in others.

Be a River, Not a Reservoir

Carolina recalled a pivotal moment in her own story: after her mother's death, her mentor called her and said that just as we will be held accountable for our financial resources, we will also be held accountable for what we did with the influence God gave us, because there are people who will listen only to us. That call moved her not to keep what she had learned to herself. "You don't have to be a pond where knowledge stays, but a river where it must flow," she explained. "By grace we have received, and by grace we give."

Insecure Leadership vs. Servant Leadership

Carolina was clear in pointing out that many leaders act out of fear that others will outshine them, driven by insecurity and a scarcity mindset. In contrast, healthy leadership nurtures others even if they end up surpassing the leader: "If they shine brighter than I do, you know what? That's great, because together our light shines brighter." She proudly noted that several organizations she founded continue to operate and grow without her, led by leaders she herself trained—proof that good leadership does not seek to make itself indispensable, but rather to develop more leaders.

Authenticity: The Foundation of All Real Influence

For Carolina, being consistent—ensuring that what we say matches what we do—is the starting point for exerting a positive influence. She shared the story of a university dean who realized he was very reliable at work but constantly let his own children down. The solution wasn't to promise more, but to be more selective about the commitments she could actually fulfill. "That awareness begins the moment I make a promise: being sure that I'm offering things I can truly deliver on," she explained.

That reputation for integrity, she noted, naturally opens doors, without the need to insist or chase after anyone to gain their trust.

Don't Confuse Your Gift with Who You Are

Carolina shared a lesson she learned from one of John Maxwell's mentors: don't confuse your gift (speaking, writing, communicating) with your own identity. A gift is something God gives us for others, not for ourselves. "We are the pipe through which the blessing flows," she explained, "and woe to the pipe if it thinks it is the water." That image, she said, helps her keep her feet on the ground.

The Best Legacy: To Inspire, Not to Impress

Toward the end of the conversation, Carolina reflected on the true meaning of inspiration: the word literally means "to breathe another's air." More than wealth or fame, what matters most to her is that God finds her inspiring others by her example, without seeking the spotlight.

"The day we're gone, someone will remember: 'Caro used to say this,' or 'I saw Caro do that,'" she shared. "That's the best legacy—not just for your children or grandchildren, but for the communities where we live, for the people we want to see become tomorrow's leaders." For Carolina, the principle is simple: "You multiply who you are," and that's why it's worth investing in your own development and giving your best—a little at a time, one person at a time.

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Yuly Ferreira, with more than two decades of marriage and experience walking alongside families, shares how to protect your bond as a couple through the years, how to navigate the changes of each stage, and how to keep choosing each other, consciously, day after day.

Love Is a Decision, Not Just a Feeling

For Yuly, after 26 years with her husband (21 of them married), the key has been understanding that love doesn't depend on feeling "butterflies" all the time. "Love is a decision. I choose every day to love my husband, and not lose the spark that brought us together so many years ago," she explained. That daily choice, according to Yuly, is what sustains the relationship through every stage of marriage.

Why routine cools a relationship

According to Yuly, when a couple doesn't intentionally nurture their bond, routine fills that space instead. The kids grow up, get married, and eventually the couple is left on their own, and if the relationship wasn't tended to along the way, that stage can feel like meeting a stranger all over again. Working as a team, speaking openly about how each person feels, and never assuming the other already knows is, for her, the foundation for sustaining that connection.

The “daily temperature check”: small habits that sustain a relationship

Yuly shared a tool used in couples therapy, the “daily temperature check”: small daily habits that keep the connection alive.

• Give thanks for the little things, even the ones that have become routine, like your husband making coffee every morning.

• Share new details from your day, so you never stop getting to know each other over time.

• Make time for little “getaways” or moments of intimacy and flirtation, even brief ones.

• Keep a weekly date night, even if it's something simple.

When the kids grow up and you're left with an “empty nest”

One of the strongest points in the conversation was the warning about what happens when a couple doesn't nurture their relationship while raising their children. Yuly shared the story of a couple who, after years devoted entirely to their kids, ended up separating as soon as the children became independent. “It's better to start working on this now, because at the end of the day, that's the person you're going to spend the rest of your days with,” she explained.

The red flag many couples ignore

For Yuly, not wanting to spend time with your partner, or looking for excuses to avoid it, isn't “normal”, it's a warning sign that deserves attention. “It's a huge red flag that something isn't working at 100%,” she noted, encouraging couples not to treat distance as an inevitable part of a long-term relationship.

How to argue without growing apart

When conflict comes up, Yuly recommends waiting until emotions settle before talking it through. Finding the right time and place, without the kids around, allows for a constructive conversation instead of an argument fueled by a “hot head.” “You have to breathe, think it over, and ask for wisdom before you speak,” she explained.

Laughing together is part of the bond too

Among the warmest advice in the conversation was the importance of shared humor: enjoying simple jokes, laughing about everyday life, and not taking everything too seriously. For Yuly, those moments of playfulness matter just as much as deep conversations.

Keep learning as a couple, too

Yuly closed the conversation by encouraging couples to keep growing together: attending marriage workshops or conferences, reading about the topic, and seeking guidance when needed. “No one goes to college to learn how to be a husband or wife, it's something we learn along the way,” she reflected.

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The most surprising part, Cristi points out, is that we are often harder on ourselves than on anyone we love. In this conversation, we explore how to identify the thoughts we repeat every day, how to transform a negative inner dialogue, and how to build an inner voice that fuels our identity, our purpose, and our emotional well-being. Because what we tell ourselves in private ends up shaping how we show up in public.

What Is inner dialogue, really?

Cristi explains that we all have a constant internal monologue, a mental language that never truly falls silent: memories, anticipations, repeated phrases, imagined conversations with other people. That's what we mean by the inner dialogue we all carry, often without even realizing it, throughout the entire day.

Although research has pointed out that men may experience more moments of “not thinking about anything,” Cristi clarifies that inner dialogue is present in them too, even if it shows up differently. In women, who tend to verbalize more outwardly, that inner dialogue also tends to be more intense on the inside.

Why your inner voice is key to mental health

Research shows, Cristi notes, that the quality of a person's mental health is directly linked to their inner voice, to how they speak to themselves and how they treat themselves. That inner narrative shapes how we interpret life, the meaning we give to circumstances, and even the decisions we make every day.

“The story I tell myself is what actually counts,” Cristi sums up. When someone keeps repeating a negative story about themselves, they end up acting and responding according to that story, reinforcing it without realizing it.

How our inner voice is shaped in childhood

How is that voice formed? According to Cristi, it's shaped by identity: what we think of ourselves and of the people around us, our fears, our insecurities, and the value we place on ourselves. That belief system begins forming in the womb and is reinforced by the voice of our caregivers: how we're spoken to and treated as children starts to define what our own inner voice will become.

Cristi shares a personal example: her eight-year-old son came home saying, “I'm not good at math.” When his dad sat down and patiently explained it to him, and the boy was able to understand the topic, his inner dialogue changed completely, to the point that he's now drawn to that very subject. As Cristi sums it up: as a person thinks, so they become.

The cycle that reinforces what we already believe

One of the central points of the conversation is why we tend to look for “proof” that confirms what we already believe about ourselves, whether in victimhood or in the role of “superhero.” Cristi explains that we start surrounding our lives with voices, content, and algorithms that reinforce that same idea, with no one to challenge it, constantly feeding the cycle.

That's why, she says, the first step is identifying whether that inner voice lifts us up or brings us down, encourages or discourages us, because it's the one voice we can't turn off. We can stop listening to a negative friend or certain content, but we can't silence our own voice.

The three types of inner dialogue (and which one is healthy)

Cristi suggests identifying which type of voice dominates our inner dialogue. At one extreme is the constant critic: negative, never satisfied. At the other extreme is the “cheerleader” who demands perfection and ends up lying to us with unrealistic positivity. In the middle, the healthy balance, is a compassionate but realistic dialogue: instructive, functional, one that speaks the truth in love, without self-sabotage or self-deception.

A well-trained inner dialogue, Cristi clarifies, isn't always positive to the point of denying mistakes. It speaks with compassion, but also with truth.

Who are you agreeing with?

Flor Elena adds a key reflection: everything in life comes down to agreements. When we speak badly about ourselves or diminish ourselves, we're agreeing with a force working against us. When we choose an inner voice that recognizes our worth and purpose, we're agreeing with what's right, with what brings us health and well-being, with the voice of our Creator.

A question Cristi recommends asking often is simply: Why do I think what I think? That question opens the door to identifying where that inner dialogue is really coming from.

How to help kids identify their inner dialogue

When asked how to support children who are more reserved by nature, Cristi recommends first observing whether there are any risk behaviors (changes in sleep, eating habits, or withdrawal) that call for professional support. If not, she suggests offering resources to help that inner dialogue start to come out: a journal, a shared hands-on or creative activity, like cooking or building something together, where conversation tends to arise naturally, without forcing it.

She also recommends teaching kids to name and validate what they feel, without needing to have all the answers: “I can see you're going through something hard, I'm here” is, in itself, an act of validation.

The power of vulnerability and validation

The conversation highlights that sharing our own emotions with our children too, without needing to disclose every detail of a struggle, creates a safe space where they also feel comfortable sharing what they're going through. No one talks about their struggles in an environment of judgment; they only open up in an environment of grace.

Listening before advising, validating before correcting, and holding space with patience are, according to Cristi, tools that build trust and, over time, foster a healthier inner dialogue in the people around us.

Re-training your inner voice: The first step toward well-being

Cristi closes with a hopeful message: no matter where we are today, we can always choose to re-train our inner voice. Recognizing, caring for, and transforming that dialogue is the path to discovering, behind that voice, a higher truth that sustains us through every circumstance.

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Lo más sorprendente, señala Cristi, es que muchas veces somos más duras con nosotras mismas que con cualquier persona que amamos. En esta conversación exploramos cómo identificar los pensamientos que repetimos a diario, cómo transformar un diálogo interior negativo y cómo construir una voz interna que impulse nuestra identidad, nuestro propósito y nuestro bienestar emocional. Porque aquello que nos decimos en privado termina moldeando la manera en que nos mostramos en público.

¿Qué es realmente el diálogo interior?

Cristi explica que todos tenemos un narrador interno constante, un lenguaje mental que jamás guarda silencio total: recuerdos, anticipaciones, frases repetidas, conversaciones imaginarias con otras personas. A eso se refiere el diálogo interno que todas y todos sostenemos, muchas veces sin darnos cuenta, a lo largo de todo el día.

Aunque científicamente se ha señalado que los hombres pueden experimentar más momentos de "no pensar en nada", Cristi aclara que el diálogo interno también está presente en ellos, aunque se exprese distinto. En las mujeres, que tienden a verbalizar más hacia afuera, ese diálogo interno suele ser también más intenso hacia adentro.

Por qué la voz interior es clave para la salud mental

Hay investigaciones, comenta Cristi, que muestran que el nivel y la calidad de la salud mental de una persona está directamente correlacionado con su voz interior: con la forma en que se habla y la forma en que se trata a sí misma. Esa narrativa interna determina la interpretación que hacemos de la vida, el significado que le damos a las circunstancias y hasta las decisiones que tomamos cada día.

"El cuento que me cuento es lo que realmente cuenta", resume Cristi. Cuando una persona repite una historia negativa sobre sí misma, termina actuando y respondiendo de acuerdo con esa historia, reforzándola sin darse cuenta.

Así se configura la voz interior desde la infancia

¿Cómo se forma esa voz? Según Cristi, se configura a partir de la identidad: lo que pensamos de nosotros mismos y de quienes nos rodean, nuestros temores, nuestras inseguridades y el valor que nos damos. Ese sistema de creencias comienza a construirse desde el vientre materno y se refuerza con la voz de los cuidadores: cómo nos hablan y cómo nos tratan desde niños empieza a definir cuál será nuestra propia voz interior.

Cristi comparte un ejemplo cercano: su hijo, de ocho años, llegó a casa diciendo "no soy bueno para las matemáticas". Cuando su papá se sentó a explicarle con paciencia y el niño pudo entender el tema, su diálogo interno cambió por completo, al punto de acercarse hoy a esa misma área. Como resume Cristi: como el hombre piensa, así mismo es.

El ciclo que refuerza lo que ya creemos

Uno de los puntos centrales de la conversación es por qué tendemos a buscar "pruebas" que confirmen lo que ya creemos de nosotras mismas, sea en la victimización o en el rol de "superheroína". Cristi explica que empezamos a rodear nuestra vida de voces, contenidos y algoritmos que refuerzan esa misma idea, sin que nadie la contradiga, alimentando el ciclo constantemente.

Por eso, dice, el primer paso es identificar si esa voz interior impulsa o desalienta, anima o desanima, porque es la única voz que no podemos apagar: podemos dejar de escuchar a una amiga negativa o cierto contenido, pero no podemos silenciar nuestra propia voz.

Los tres tipos de diálogo interno (y cuál es el saludable)

Cristi propone identificar qué tipo de voz predomina en nuestro diálogo interno. En un extremo está el crítico constante, negativo, que nunca es suficiente. En el otro extremo está la "porrista" que exige perfección y llega a mentirnos con un positivismo irreal. En el medio, el equilibrio saludable, está el diálogo compasivo pero realista: instructivo, funcional, que dice la verdad en amor, sin autosabotaje y sin autoengaño.

Un diálogo interno bien educado, aclara Cristi, no es siempre positivo al punto de negar los errores. Habla con compasión, pero también con verdad.

Con quién te estás poniendo de acuerdo

Flor Elena aporta una reflexión clave: todo en la vida pasa por acuerdos. Cuando hablamos mal de nosotras mismas o nos disminuimos, nos estamos poniendo de acuerdo con una fuerza que va en nuestra contra. Cuando elegimos una voz interior que nos reconoce con valor y propósito, nos ponemos de acuerdo con lo correcto, con lo que nos da salud y bienestar, con la voz de nuestro creador.

Una pregunta que Cristi recomienda hacerse con frecuencia es simplemente: ¿por qué pienso lo que pienso? Esa pregunta abre la puerta a identificar de dónde viene realmente ese diálogo interno.

Cómo ayudar a los hijos a identificar su diálogo interno

Ante la pregunta de cómo acompañar a hijas e hijos con personalidades más reservadas, Cristi recomienda primero observar si existen conductas de riesgo (cambios en el sueño, la alimentación o el aislamiento) que ameriten apoyo profesional. Si no las hay, sugiere ofrecer recursos para que el diálogo interno empiece a expresarse: un diario, una actividad manual o creativa compartida, como cocinar o armar algo juntas, donde la conversación suele surgir de forma natural, sin forzarla.

Recomienda además enseñar a nombrar y validar lo que se siente, sin necesidad de tener todas las respuestas: "veo que estás en un momento difícil, aquí estoy" ya es, en sí mismo, un acto de validación.

El poder de la vulnerabilidad y la validación

La conversación destaca que compartir también nuestras propias emociones con hijas e hijos —sin necesidad de exponer los detalles de cada dificultad— abre un espacio seguro donde ellos también se sienten cómodos compartiendo lo que les pasa. Nadie habla de sus luchas en un ambiente de condenación: solo se abre en un ambiente de gracia.

Escuchar antes de aconsejar, validar antes de corregir y sostener la conversación con paciencia son, según Cristi, herramientas que fortalecen la confianza y construyen, con el tiempo, un diálogo interno más sano en quienes nos rodean.

Reeducar la voz interior: el primer paso hacia el bienestar

Cristi cierra con un mensaje esperanzador: independientemente de dónde estemos hoy, siempre podemos elegir y reeducar nuestra voz interna. Reconocer, cuidar y transformar ese diálogo es el camino para descubrir, detrás de esa voz, una verdad superior que nos sostiene en toda situación.

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For Carolina, understanding the true weight of that influence, and the responsibility that comes with it, is the first step toward living it out in an authentic, positive, and transformative way.

We All Have a Degree of Influence, Whether We Realize It or Not

Carolina explains that many people, especially younger ones, say "I don't want to be a leader," without realizing they already are one. If there are people who follow you because you're an example to those around you, you already carry a degree of influence. The question, then, isn't whether you influence others, but what you're going to do with the influence you've been given, starting at home, where our children are watching and learning from us every day.

Social Media Influencers vs. Real Influence

Carolina draws an important distinction: not everyone with social media followers exercises real influence. Some buy followers or build a fantasy that many young people end up believing is real. True influence, she says, is exercised with the people we're close to, in everyday proximity, not in a follower count.

"Sometimes people trust ChatGPT or Copilot more than they trust exercising real faith," Carolina noted, pointing to how much content on social media lacks soul and genuine connection, something you can feel even if it's hard to explain.

Influence Is Not Manipulation

For Carolina, influence is "the ability you have to impact another person's life," and it's entirely different from manipulation, which seeks personal gain. Genuine influence is modeled through example: "How did I learn to lead? By watching," she explained, acknowledging that although she read books on leadership, she learned mostly by observing others live it out first.

The Difference Between Influence and Position

One of the central points of the conversation was distinguishing influence from position. According to Carolina, the most basic level of leadership is simply being given a title, but that doesn't automatically make someone a leader. "Would those people still follow you if you didn't have that title?" she asked, recalling a former boss of hers she'd describe as someone she'd "follow to the ends of the earth" even without pay, because he was a man of integrity.

Carolina also shared the story of an employee who, after being promoted at the family business, wasn't ready for that kind of influence and ended up having her coworkers do her nails during work hours. "When you give someone a position they're not ready for, you find out who they really are," she reflected.

Ego vs. Identity

Carolina draws a distinction between ego ("the image I want people to believe I am") and true identity, who God actually made us to be. When someone acts from ego, they're seeking power; when they act from their identity, they're seeking to serve. "A leader who wants to use their influence to serve isn't chasing power," she explained, noting that many bosses who only shout and demand silence from their teams are actually acting out of deep insecurity.

Being Salt and Light: Salt Has to Leave the Shaker

One of Carolina's strongest reflections was about what it truly means to be salt and light. "You're not salt while you're still inside the shaker," she said, referring to our tendency to stay only with people who think like us, within our comfort zone. "Salt, to season, has to come out of the shaker": if we stay inside, we're not helping anyone. Sometimes that outward influence is simply keeping someone company, without needing to have all the answers.

Who Is Influencing You?

Carolina also invites us to reflect on who influences us. For her, what matters is surrounding yourself with people of integrity, whose "yes means yes and no means no," consistent wherever they're found. She shared that one of the greatest influences in her life was her grandmother, who only reached the sixth grade, but whose teachings still guide her decades later: true influence doesn't depend on titles or diplomas, but on the character that inspires genuine admiration in another person.

Be a River, Not a Reservoir

Carolina recalled a defining moment in her own story: after her mother's death, her mentor called her and told her that just as we'll give an account of our financial resources, we'll also give an account of what we did with the influence God gave us, because there are people who will only listen to us. That call moved her to stop keeping what she'd learned to herself. "You don't have to be the pond where knowledge just sits, you have to be a river where it flows," she explained. "We receive by grace, and by grace we give."

Insecure Leadership vs. Leadership That Serves

Carolina was clear that many leaders act out of fear that others might outshine them, driven by insecurity and a scarcity mindset. Healthy leadership, on the other hand, nurtures others even if they end up surpassing it: "If they shine brighter than me, you know what? Wonderful, because together the light shines even stronger." She proudly shared that several organizations she founded are still running and growing without her, led by people she trained herself, proof that good leadership isn't about making yourself indispensable, but about raising up more leaders.

Consistency: The Foundation of Real Influence

For Carolina, being consistent, making sure what we say matches what we do, is the starting point for exercising positive influence. She shared the story of a university dean who realized he was extremely reliable at work, but kept letting his own kids down. The fix wasn't to promise more, but to be more selective about the commitments he could actually keep. "That awareness starts the moment I make an offer: making sure I'm only offering things I can truly follow through on," she explained.

That reputation for integrity, she noted, ends up opening doors naturally, without needing to chase anyone down to earn their trust.

Don't Confuse the Gift with Who You Are

Carolina shared a lesson she learned from one of John Maxwell's mentors: don't confuse the gift (speaking, writing, communicating) with your own identity. The gift is something God gives us for others, not for ourselves. "We are the pipe the blessing flows through," she explained, "and woe to the pipe that thinks it's the water." That image, she said, helps keep her grounded.

The Best Legacy: To Inspire, Not to Impress

Toward the close of the conversation, Carolina reflected on the true meaning of the word inspire, which literally means "to breathe the same air as someone else." More than wealth or fame, what matters most to her is that God finds her inspiring others through her example, without seeking the spotlight.

"The day we're no longer here, someone will remember: 'that's what Caro used to say, that's what I saw Caro do,'" she shared. "That's the best legacy, not just for your children or grandchildren, but for the communities we live in, for the people we hope will be tomorrow's leaders." For Carolina, the principle is simple: "you multiply who you are," and that's why it's worth investing in growing and giving your best, one step, one person, at a time.

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